Quotes!
Here is my homage to the silly, confused, forgetful and just plain funny in all of us.
More will come as life goes on...
Enjoy!
*Warning* -- Coarse and/or Vulgar Language in places.
Most of these quotes come from my time in Freshman Engineering at Purdue:
Censoring our language was not one of our main priorities
Freshman Year: Band, Engineering, and other Randomness
"I thought it was some commie pinko liberal-arts student." --PK Imbrie, 19 Jan 05
"I am Woman, give me cookies" --Michelle, 8 Mar 05
"I feel like a real girlfriend now 'cause I am wearing one of your shirts" --Michelle, 3 Mar 05
Major Dorman: " What is the job of the US Air Force?"
C/4C Jim Bergren: "To kill people and break their stuff."
[Actual AFT 120 conversation, 10 Mar 05]
"You Suck." --PK Imbrie, 24 Mar 05
"I feel like death on steroids." --SDJ, 29 Mar 05
"A shooting spree of homework questions"
"You are wasted!"
"Get lost!"
"I don't think you will catch a rabbit again"
-- Professor K. Matsuki, 28 Mar 05
"Can I kill you?!" -- Professor K. Matsuki, 2 Apr 05
"You techno-weenies" -- PK Imbrie, 7 Apr 05
"We fell on the floor in a dying ball of embarrasment." -- Michelle, 13 Apr 05
Dear SRA Dave,
You are a dickhead.
Love,
The Human race
-- Sign on P$$$ and Tut-tut's door
(Pat Shelby and Kyle Boyd)
If Jimmy cracked corn, and nobody cared, why did he keep on doing it?
This misunderstanding stems from a misspelling of the word 'crunked' as
'cracked'. In the late 1800s, a Mr. John Shipley had an obscure and
unusual vegetable perversion. Unable to get him to desist, the people
of London eventually gave up and let him do as he liked.
-- Another sign from P$$$ and Tut-tut's door
"I'm gonna have to get me a pink shirt, 'cause it apparrently turns you into a killer"
-- Shane Coleman, 21 Apr 05
I have a new nickname:
"Steeley-Eyed Killer", given to me by Army Cadet Van Howe, after seeing
my shot grouping the first time I ever shot a gun (6/10 on the black
including one dead-center)
"You said stand up? I thought you meant tune!" -- Pam, 23 Apr 05
"If some of my people came in I'd never recognize them with clothes on" -- Bill, 23 Apr 05
"Oh? Well, you're Sucky McSuckpants" -- Michelle, 23 Apr 05
"They don't make babies. They just practice a lot." -- Ben Angelo, 24 Apr 05
"I got hyperbolic teets" -- Vik, 25 Apr 05
{To Andrew Hampton}
"Loser, you are the biggest loser in Loserville; population: You." --Albert Chaney, 25 Apr 05
"Population Smartville: Not Andrew" ----Albert Chaney, 25 Apr 05
… And on the Eighth Day, God let Satan have a try. And Satan
said "Let there be the Robot, to FUCK HUMANS OVER." --Me, 27 Apr 05
"College is really just PROFESSIONAL HAZING" -- Sign on Tim Bond and Jim Bergren's Door, 27 Apr 05
{In a Russian accent}
How do you spell "Oh Shit" in Russian?
- F-15
How do you spell "I surrender" in Russian?
- A-10
-- Me, 29 Apr 05
"She won with a high-card fuck-busted straight."
-- Gersh, 29 April 05
"Fucktard"
-- Colleen
"Undignified is good" -- SDJ, 30 April 05
From Cori Bucherl, after seeing my away message "Physics = Fucked up the ass":
bYuchic639: good luck darling
bYuchic639: dont forget to use protection
bYuchic639: and lubricant
bYuchic639: eeeewwwww
bYuchic639: nite
(Somewhat of an inside joke)
"The Surreal Life, on TBS: Neal graduated! Oh my God!" -- Anna Hartig, 6 May 05
(About recieving his diploma)
"I should aks Jishke if he wants fries with that" -- Neal Lynch, 6 May 05
"I'm Irish and German. Meaning, I get drunk and start wars." -- Me, 7 May 05
"James has acne, so you know they must be wanting some" -- Rachel Dennis, 10 May 05
"This is my last four years straddling the line between immature obnoxiousness and adult maturity." -- Michelle 11 May 05
I missed a bunch of good ones that I either wrote down and lost or didn't write down and forgot.
Hope to get this back up and running, though.
"Dynamic range of the base [trom]bone: Stun, and Kill." -- M. Plake, 18 July 05
WoW Quotes
"Somebody just got WTFpwn3d by his mom"
-- Thorgan, L60 Hunter, 28 Aug 05
(In a conversation about a guildy (Abu) having his wife get mad at him):
Thorgan: Oh yeah, Abu, I forgot you get wife aggro
Abu: You have no idea
Remmen : lol
Aoir: Spouse aggro is something several of us have to be aware of
Thorgan: Nothing worse than trying to take down a level ?? gold-bordered wife mob by yourself
"It's almost as though my computer went on a 3-day drinking binge that lasted 2 seconds."
-- Jackbag, L60 Rogue, 23 Sept 05
"Quoth the raven, 'Snork'"
-- Koshima, L60 Warrior, 23 Sept 05
Cincinnati, My Second Home
"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord, and don't forget about the coffee and donuts."
-- Father Kennedy, 9 Oct 05
This one was almost more situational than anything. Mrs
Schweller-Snyder (our HS band director) was standing four feet away
when Lyndsay said this one:
"I'm Getting Naked!"
-- Lyndsay Coleman, said while changing into her band uniform, 29 Oct 05
"Sir, can you be objective?
Absolutley! Right after we hang the guilty bastard!"
-- Tom Mendenhall, 1 Nov 05
"Hello, this is India?. How may I not help you today?"
-- Dave Hartshorne, 17 Nov 05
Dave: "Montana. That's that one north of Wisconsin, right?"
Me: "No, Dave. That's Canada."
Dave: "It starts with an 'M', though"
Me: "Minnesota?"
Dave: "Yeah, that's it. One of those 'M' states."
-- Dave is Dave Hartshorne, my boss, and an Englishman. 23 Nov 05
SCA Quotes (More to come, I am sure)
Waitress at Waffle House: "What would you like to drink?"
Brighid: "CHICKEN!"
-- 24 Sept 05
All you need to know about rapier fencing:
[With accompanying hand gestures]
"Pointy end ... other guy"
-- Krieger, 24 Sept 05
"Yep, I bring guns to knife fights."
-- Uahldarich, 11 Oct 05
"Your authorization is like getting your driver's license, but with a sword."
-- Jemma, 15 Nov 05
"There is no France; only South-West Germany."
-- Uadahlrich
"Forget all of those other pansy personae. Big, hairy, sweaty, real men
who aren't afraid to come out from behind a up turned table do
Landsknecht."
-- Karl Helwig, from the Armour Archive. 16 Mar 05
Home Sweet Home -- Texas
"Please turn off all cell phones, pagers and children under the age of 3."
-- Announcement before my brother's final HS Band concert, 19 May 05