The STORY OF THE WEEK
(The STEW)
is some long, dumb story involving some short dumb guy...
| Monday, June 6th, 2005 ~ 5:48 PM |
CHIP 'N DALE
THE POLE
So, today I watched Oprah. Alright.. let's rewind a bit here..
I've been working out on a regular basis finally, just about every other day. So, today happened to be one of those days. I go into the Lafayette Sports Center and down into the basement around 4:15 or so, hoping it was empty b/c I prefer to do my business alone. Well, it was mostly empty except for two little ol' ladies walking on the treadmill.
So, I'm like, good.. nothing's goin to disturb me from getting a great workout. WRONG. If you've never been to the Sports Center before, the down stairs is the size of maybe a one-story house. There's an aerobic room and a free-weight room. But the room I happened to be in is where all the weight machines and treadmills are. So, back to the story...
These two little ol' ladies are walking on their treadmills watching TV. And.. I bet ya can guess.. they're watching Oprah. Now, there's nothing wrong with Oprah. I think she does some great things. But, today's episode.. sigh.. let's continue..
Today's Oprah revolved around well, sex. It had to do with women wanting to feel sexy about themselves and how to do it. Maybe you can see where this is going...
So, after all these viewers send in videos to Oprah that they want to feel sexier, Oprah says she has the solution. And now, there are four large poles on stage. Uh-oh...
The guest instructor was teaching all of these women how to, er, dance with a pole and, er, strip off a shirt. Now the ladies dancing weren't bad looking, so that wasn't the problem. What distracted me was the two little ol' ladies. They get off of their treadmills and move as close as they can to the TV, listening to every word.
Here it comes... The whole stripping, pole dancing, and hip gyrating continues for like 15 minutes. After the episode is over (brace yourself) one of the ladies says to the other "I've gotta go get me a pole now"... that did it. BAD PICTURES in my mind and I'm sure in your mind, too. I ended my workout very quickly after that and left. I'm never watching Oprah again.
I hope this story made you laugh or be grossed out. stayed tuned for the next story...
Leave Comment...
Tracie--> I POLE DANCE! Not really, but that was freakin' hilarious! I don't know what is more amusing... the picture in my mind of the old ladies or you overhearing the old ladies... how tragic for you... but if you ever need a good pole dance (wink wink)
Tisha--> You are such a nerd.
