Pagan Academic Network:Forums

orion · Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 2:59 am Post subject: Staying in the broom closet

Well, this is certainly the approach that I've taken. I'm in my mid-twenties, and I think that my parents would go more happily to their graves never knowing that I am a pagan.

I would love for them to be able to accept what I happen to be, but it would take so much work to open their eyes, that it's not worth it to me.
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pablo · Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:09 am Post subject:

i know the feeling. id like for members of my family to know, but i dont know how they would take it, so ill just let them assume for now.
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djennma · Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:38 am Post subject:

well--I was "outed" by my mother--who found my witch-y books on the breakfast island because I forgot to take them upstairs w/me--OOPS! Shocked

It brought everything to a head VERY quickly, and I've endured the slings and arrows for about 11-12 yrs. But recently, even she's admitted to me that she's proud of me for "following my own beliefs", instead of putting on a show simply for her benefit...

So what I'm saying is, there IS hope--by and large your parents love you, and once they see that you're REALLY serious about this, (remember: 12 YEARS! Shocked

), even they'll see that this isn't some fly-by-night decision, and if they want you around for dinner occasionally, they'll have to find a common ground SOMEhow! Twisted Evil

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saoirse · Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2004 12:43 pm Post subject: possibly lucky

You could always end up possibly lucky that after leaving stuff around the house your parents just don't pick up on it, like mine did. (Or at least my mom noticed enough to remember that I like "new age" stuff, my scarily republican dad remained quite blessedly unaware.)

All in all I think they really DON'T want to know, 'cause (for want of a better term) I'm the "baby" of the family. Rolling Eyes

My sister knows, but being Xtian doesn't really understand, except when she wants a tarot reading. Wink

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djennma · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 3:25 pm Post subject:

saoirse · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:09 pm Post subject:

No it gets better, First I've had to TELL my sister several times that relying on the TELEPHONE "psychics" is really dumb, not to mention far too costly when she has a sister that will do it for free. Rolling Eyes

It is kinda cool though that she, while a christian, is totally willing to read all of my new age books. Wink

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-eddie izzard-

administrator · Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2004 4:14 pm Post subject:

heh, which is certainly better than her wanting you to read her crusty old book Twisted Evil

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Troy · Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2004 3:12 am Post subject:

Djenn is right, Your parents will (probably) understand. I was sorta forced out of the closet as well. LAPA was having an event and I sent a press release to the newspaper with my info as the contact, never thinking that my parents would see it Embarassed

.
My mom was shocked and "worried" about it, still is, at least the worried part. I think my dad had known before, just thought it was my business.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your parents will find out, so it's probably better for them to find out at a time of your choosing.

llio · Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:15 am Post subject: Coming out!

My immediate family is great! My brother is Pagan (we came into it seperately) and now our Mom is interested! My husband is also Pagan, so of course that is very supportive. My step-dad doesn't really care, as long as we are happy. Outside of that close family, everyone else doesn't know. I think I will let that stay the way it is. If they find out and approach me I will not lie. But to let them know would be to let them go. I love them and don't want that to happen. Sad

But if it did, then that would also be a relief.

I don't pretend. They know that I do not share their religious thinking. They also don't want to know because they don't want to lose me. It is all just a big pretend factory. Everyone avoids the topic. Same way with my Buddhist aunt. Laughing

In the workplace? They know that I am into nature, that I am spiritual... When people think that I am uber-Christian, I set them strait. Other than that they really don't care. I work in a very open and accepting environment. Very Happy

Lucky me!

saoirse · Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:43 pm Post subject:

"a big pretend factory"

I love that phrase:)

Such a good description of the old "Ignore the 20 foot elephant in the drawing room, we'll just talk around it" schtick.
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Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
-eddie izzard-

xeno_girl · Introvert Joined: 27 Apr 2004 Posts: 7 Location: Indiana

"These are not the droids you're looking for..."

I'm still debating whether or not to tell my parents. Since I'm living in a dorm now, I've really been able to distance myself from their influences, opinions, control- whatever you want to call it- and I'm just so tired of keeping everything under the radar (been keeping it that way for 3 or 4 years now). They "found out" when I first got involved, but since the "I don't want to see it, hear it, read about it. I don't want you reading books or talking to people like that! I don't want you talking about it with the family or your siblings." *and that is the summarized version*... but since then, I've just kept things to myself. And then Purdue happened. Now, becoming active and involved again, I don't want to hide it anymore. I'm tired of stretching the truth and saying I went out with some friends instead of saying "I went to the Pagan Academic Network meeting." I don't know if they realize that "I'm still Pagan," or not, but I at the same time, I think them knowing that after all these years, and after all of their "control," I still remained true to myself and my beliefs... I think that might make them slightly less critical. I'm still haunted, though, being a young teenager in highschool at the time, and having my father threaten to not help me with money when I went off to college someday if I "started up with that Pagan stuff again." But every other threat has never happened, so why would this one! My family and I are very, very close and I know that won't change just because of a rift between our belief systems... I just don't know how or when to go about it. I'm practically taking care of college expenses on my own, but they always help me out with a few bills here and there, and my mom always tries to keep me out of college debt. Plus with events, holidays, whatever... and the Knox festival thing is this summer, I don't want to have to be sneaky about stuff like that anymore.... any suggestions my friends!? Maybe I should just act like it's not a big deal, "Oh yeah, I'm going to this Pagan Maypole thing on Friday," and get a feel for them... I don't know.... but enough of my rambling... gotta do spanish homework! Rolling Eyes

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orion · Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 10:46 pm Post subject: Checklist

I think it's in Silver Ravenwolf's To Ride a Silver Broomstick that she suggests making a list of "what I have to gain" and "what I have to lose"
in terms of personal and professional life. (Though she's talking about becoming pagan rather than coming out)

Other than that, I think the choice has to be your own decision based on what's best for you.
_________________
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who read binary, and those who dont.

pablo · Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 3:47 pm Post subject:

when i first came out and told kelly that im pagan, it wasnt really a big deal, but as of recently, its been seperating us pretty bad because of how closed-minded she has become to anything thats not christian Sad

_________________
If 0 * 0 = 0
then bunny * bunny = ???

orion · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 1:39 am Post subject: Hmmm

Buy her a copy of the DaVinci Code, or start asking her about her religion...particularly the council of Nicea... Smile

_________________
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who read binary, and those who dont.

pablo · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 9:37 am Post subject:

knowing her, shed probably call it "anti-chrisitan"
*hasnt read "the davinci code"*
_________________
If 0 * 0 = 0
then bunny * bunny = ???