Money is not everything.   There's Mastercard & Visa.

    One should love animals.   They are so tasty.

    Save water.   Shower with your girlfriend.

  Love the neighbor.   But don't get caught.

  Behind every successful man, there is a woman.   And behind every unsuccessful man, there are more than one.

    Every man should marry.   After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

    Success is a relative term.   It brings so many relatives.

    Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

    Children in backseats cause accidents.   Accidents in backseats cause children.

    "Your future depends on your dreams."   So go to sleep.

    "Work fascinates me."   I can look at it for hours!

    The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

Socialist, Communist and Capitalist agreed to meet. But the Socialist was late
     ----"Sorry, I am late because I was waiting in a queue to buy a hot dog."
     ----"What is 'waiting in queue' ?", asked the Capitalist.
     ----"What is 'hot dog'?", asked the Communist.

Due to continuous war, country X is badly in need of military materials.
    One day, accompanied by a Corporal, the section chief of military materials inspected the supply of needed materials.
    When they came to the petroleum storage depot, the chief found a stub on the floor and got unhappy: "Whose is this?" Corporal looked around then answered happily:"Emm, it seems that it belongs to no one, you can have it!"

I'm so happy I finally made it to have this place to post jokes! I will search around for good jokes in Chinese then translate them into English; but also, I will try to post some classic English jokes. Cheers!